Of Letters and Color Splatters

A today of words and visuals 
I explored the world
through the eyes of others
I found oddity of words
through the prose of tellers
I traveled miles farther
through the tip of my fingers
I want to discover more
I want to get closer with them,
the discoverers

I want to capture more
Just to feel I’m breathing
I want to write more
Just to see I’m living
I would not trade any seconds
If it takes giving up thousands

Of letters and color splatters

Wait on the Lord

‘Waiting on the Lord’ isn’t just a literary piece of phrase showing a touch of spirituality or kind hearted quality. ‘Waiting on the Lord’ is an action requiring intentional patience and earnest expectation that Jesus has something to reveal, teach or literally give for me.

2015 Reflection

Where should I start?

Just like CC’s instagram post, 2015 was a year of rollercoaster ride of emotions. It was my first year on the full-time ministry, with a heart surrendering all my dreams and pursuing the call God’s giving me.

It was also the year I got my spiritual breakthrough, leaving my logical tendencies behind and entering the realm of spirituality. It was a season of experiencing God in a brand new way. It was momentous and unforgettable. Hearing the move of the Holy Spirit through the flight of a dove and having the utterance to speak in tongues, it was a new dimension.

But it was also the year of division and leaving. The leaders in the church whom I looked up to left us with scarred marks upon their deceived visions. We were all once deceived, yet not everyone were restored. Many turned as casualties, some were victims yet redeemed and I’m one of the redeemed. So here I am, writing, reflecting that God has really mysterious ways. All left for me is to trust and remain faithful to Him through my service in the church He called.

The position to lead the CAM (Creative Arts Media) was turned over to me since the previous leader also left. I expected that happening and had connected dots all my past experiences up to present.

I kinda figured things out. That is why when I’m applying as a writer for the university’s publication, they hired me as a layout artist; that is why I was voted to be the class production’s Executive Producer instead of just being a photographer or a camera man or a director; that is why I was so moved and motivated to re-established the ABCom’s official organization and was positioned as the org president. All because God is preparing me into something big. All the while He was shaping me through this experiences for the ministry.

I am humbled, of course. Sino ba ako para i-train at gamitin ng Diyos? Yet God has unique plans for each of us.

So my 2015 was also my first year in handling the Creative Arts Media. By God’s grace, there was an established development flow, from Orientation up to Workshops up to Field training which I recently renamed to Production. The team was trained even more and there were new trainees who were raised up as photographers and video editors. We also pursued the weekly prayer which we never experienced before, learning that the foundation of every ministry is prayer.

A productive year, indeed. I now have a folder of my created designs. I can say that God improved my creative side (since He positioned me in this type of ministry). My knowledge on photography was also improved. I took an online class and read a lot of photography articles. I see the results of my multiple tabs on my window and bookmarked articles not only on me but also through CAM whom God allowed me to train.

I also took risk this year together with my sister in Christ and beauty guru buddy Kathreen. We organized a 100k+ worth debut celebration of a church friend, Seannine. It was glorious. I wanted to do more.

A lot of projects, definitely. In between of the planning stage and victories were mistakes, fallbacks and regrets. They’re inevitable.

What did I learn from them?
1. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Even if it’s pointless to submit to the authority in front of you, you have to. It’s the way God planned it.

2. Before you pursue a project, do it the Nehemiah way. Pray and plan; plan and pray. In planning, I have to think it through, set deadlines, motivate the people who will work with me, anticipate the problem, expect oppositions and always prepare for opportunities. (I have to learn to motivate the people in God’s way.)

3. God is always always faithful. He will bless what you have sacrificed for Him. When I pursue His call to go on full-time, we all know my finances weren’t that big to be accountable on my cousin’s college fees but God wants me to trust Him. I surrendered to Him May’s (my cousin) college dream and there He is, He didn’t fail me. I was earning enough to pay for her school bills. As our dear Pastor phrased out ‘If it’s God’s will, He pays the bill.” Hurray!

4. If God has given you a dream, He will also work things out on you to achieve that dream. In fact, He has given us everything we need which pertains to life and godliness, even all the spiritual blessings we need to accomplish the dream He placed in our heart. I just need to learn to acknowledge what has been given and tap them out of faith.

5. The Word of God is like a seed. It grows and take root. If I didn’t meditate on a Word, it can be easily uprooted. I should meditate it first and apply it to my life before I share it to others, or else it won’t take root and won’t bear fruit. It has process on growth so I don’t have to be frustrated if I fail sometime because no seed grows instantly.

6. Always make your point, your point to be an effective communicator.

7. In every message I heard, I should be sharp on getting what the whole point it is about.

8. There is nothing wrong with my dream. I just need to realign it with the vision of the church. And one day God will revisit my dream, I should be ready for that.

9. “Kapag firm ka sa vision mo, kahit walang sumama sayo, gagawin mo yon.” I should be firm with my vision and finally I now know what would that be, it’s writing, speaking, layouting, taking photographs, video editing, equipping CAM, doing outside business to reach for more souls for Jesus and have their lives change forever. That means, no secular jobs commitment, haha.

And last

10. Making a stand on anything and not going on neutral because if we won’t make a stand or make any firm decision about everything, we will fall to anything. God hates the doubleminded. He wants me to have my stand on truth regarding anything.

Reformat

“Is there anything we can do?”
“That I dont know.”
“Can we just be honest with ourselves? That it’s no longer working. Our way. ”
“We’re all afraid to admit that.”
“Yea. We’ve been giving the honor that is due her. I think it’s time to face reality. Reality that in order to keep this people, we have to break norms. We have to change our way. We have to reformat.”
“I wish she can see that.”
“I’ll pray she would.”
“Pray that she be able to see it herself that her ways are no longer working. She has to see that.”
“Uhh, if only all of us are praying. But no, we don’t. We’re all too busy criticizing things in our mind instead of asking God.”
“Maybe that’s what God wants. We all ask for it instead of getting self-righteous over it.”
“We have to know the boundary between honoring the person and merely flattering her.”
“We also need to know that there are other ways to love them and not just minimizing the bigger truth.”
“Why can’t we say it straight to them? Why do we talk right now as if we’re backfighting?”
“Because we’re afraid too.”